We come across a very common concern: “I want sex more than my boyfriend does. Does he not want me anymore?Am I no longer attractive to him?…
WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!”
First of all, the female sex drive is very complicated. Just try googling the topic –you’ll be met with a hailstorm of confusion. Society has certain entrenched views that seem to pop up as “facts” on an alarmingly regular basis.
- Men want sex all the time – they think about it all the time, and can be ready to go in a moment’s notice
- Women tend to value sex for the other things it brings (emotional intimacy, for example), not for the sex itself
- Men want sex more than women do
We’ll deal with these so-called “facts” and show you that you are NOT a freak for wanting more sex than your boyfriend (or husband… or just general male partner) does.
1. “Men want sex ALL THE TIME”
No, not necessarily. Men may be too tired to initiate sex, or too stressed. There are very legitimate, fully scientific reasons that a man may not feel like sex (of any kind). If a man turns down your offer of sex, it is not because he suddenly finds you unattractive or because he already came all over his female co-workers titties in the elevator at work… it might just be because he damn well doesn’t FEEL like it.
He may just not have the energy to INITIATE sex. Society seems to think that because men want sex all the time (they don’t), they should be the initiators (they don’t have to be).
So if you want sex and your male partner doesn’t, so be it. Don’t read into it.
Go get your vibrator and get the job done, or initiate it yourself.
Wanting sex more than your boyfriend does is perfectly normal - but if it’s really effecting your relationship, go ahead and talk about it. That’s normal too.
Side note: we may think that men think about sex more often, but if we consider that they also think of their physical needs more often in general (food, sleep, etc.), relatively speaking, it isn’t such a big difference.
Check out the second “fact” we put through the bullshit detector.