In part 1 of this series, we banished the bullshit that men want sex all the time.

In part 2 of this series, we busted the myth that women don’t want sex for sex. .

Now we banish the third myth:

“Men want more sex than women do”

This is probably the longest held belief. Going back to that evolutionary theory, it makes sense: males who are constantly horny are more likely to spread their seed and therefore produce offspring with the same trait of being extra horny. Except that, once again, HUMANS are more complicated than that.

Earth shattering new research is being done about female desire, and it’s coming (!) out that women may actually have more voracious appetites for sex than men have. The problem is we just don’t know it. One study tested physical arousal and perceived arousal at the same time – an instrument called a vaginal plethysmograph  measured blood flow in the vagina, and the women typed a number on a keypad to indicate how aroused they felt when viewing various scenes (hetero sex, lesbian sex, gay male sex, and monkey – literally – sex.)

This is what the study by Dr. Meredith Chivers of Queen's University in Canada discovered...

“And with the women, especially the straight women, mind and genitals seemed scarcely to belong to the same person. The readings from the plethysmograph and the keypad weren’t in much accord. During shots of lesbian coupling, heterosexual women reported less excitement than their vaginas indicated; watching gay men, they reported a great deal less; and viewing heterosexual intercourse, they reported much more”
vaginal photoplethysmograph

Vaginal photoplethysmograph Image courtesy of the Sexuality & Gender Laboratory, Queen’s University.

The picture on the left shows the instrument that Dr. Chivers used: the vaginal plethysmograph. From the lab’s website: “The vaginal and clitoral gauges are used to measure women’s physical sexual responses. The vaginal gauge is a small, plastic, tampon-shaped probe about 6 cm long and 1.2 cm wide. […] instruments are used to measure changes in blood flow within the walls of the genital region. Each instrument has a light source and a light detector; the light source is used to illuminate the region that the light source in contact with, and the amount of blood that is circulating within the walls of that region determines how much light is back-scattered and detected by the light detector.”


So the women tended to physically desire sex just as often, if not more often, than men – they just didn’t recognize it. If you’re a woman who DOES recognize your sexual appetite, you may feel like a freak. You aren’t. Women actually have really strong sex drives.

So what did we learn?

  • Men don’t necessarily want sex all the time
  • Women can want sex for the sole purpose of sex
  • Women can have much more voracious sexual appetites than men, and just not recognize it

If you want sex on a more frequent basis than your partner, you’re actually more normal than you think. Don’t NOT initiate sex because it’s “weird” to want it all the time. If you want it, initiate it.  There is absolutely no shame in that.

“I want sex more than my boyfriend does.”… to that we say: AMEN.


Missed out? See part 1 and 2 here.

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