Sexy Christmas Gift Guide
Christmas might not be the best time to give a partner a big ole dildo - especially when gifts are opened in front of the family - but that doesn’t mean you’re stuck giving gift cards and hand knitted sweaters. There is a way to be subtlety sexy with your gifts. We’ve rounded up the best sexy Christmas gifts and stocking stuffers that are the gift giving equivalent of a wink and a raised eyebrow. Feel free to conveniently leave this page open for your lover to find.
It looks like a candle, but it is so, so much more. No one will raise an eyebrow at a simple little candle, unless they happen to turn it over and read the suggestive name - our favourite is “Vanilla Fetish” by Shunga ($21.99). It burns nice and slow, giving you lots of time to get in the mood. And as the candle burns, not only does it waft a deliciously lush vanilla scent onto the air, it also melts into yummy, silky massage oil.
Screaming O “My Secret Vibrating Mascara”
Mascara is a staple in most women’s make up case. So buying a woman mascara would not arouse (ha!) any suspicion…but this little vibe will certainly arouse something. The little silicone tip seeks out all the right places, and packs a big punch for its size. Perfect to toss in a purse “just in case”! And at only $14.99, it’s a win-win.
Click here to purchase.
Body Spa Vibrating Mesh Sponge
It looks just like an average loofah. And it could be - at least according to any prying eyes. Even the packaging is deceivingly generic. But hidden inside the fluffy mesh folds is a little pouch that perfectly fits the included bullet vibe ($19.95). The mesh adds an interesting textual element to a standard favourite: the shower orgasm.
Click here to purchase.
A robe is the perfect way to gift your lover “lingerie” without the embarrassment factor. Silk is undeniably sexy - not only does it drape the body seductively, it also feel fantastic against the skin. Match the style to the receiver - lace details or florals for a girly girl, darker colours for a more masculine touch, or an animal print pattern for the wild child. Check out Nordstrom’s for cute colorus and patterns.
Sex Toy Jewelry
This looks like a gorgeous pendant… and it is! But it also double as a clit vibe. The vibration is intense along the tip, and just enough to tease along the length. Wearing your sex toy might seem strange, but it is oddly titillating (pun intended). It even comes in a 24k gold option, for extra luxury ($69-149). Purchase through Babeland to get the real deal.
What Are Ben Wa Balls?
If you’ve read 50 Shades of Grey, or ventured into an adult store, you might have encountered “Ben Wa Balls”. (Or maybe you haven’t and you’re wondering what in God’s name they are…)
Essentially, they are small balls meant to be inserted into the vagina (NOT the butt!!) They often contain weights to encourage the balls to roll around within the vagina, increasing stimulation. They are more of a “slow burn” toy, meant to gradually build pleasurable sensations.
Although some women report reaching orgasm through the balls alone, most women enjoy them as a teasing foreplay method - the balls can be left in for an extended amount of time, held in place by your pelvic floor muscles. In fact, some women routinely wear Ben Wa balls to strengthen their PF muscles.
Like other sex toys, Ben Wa balls can be made of a variety of materials including glass, medical grade silicone, and metal. Some varieties are attached by a tether, with a string that remains outside the vagina to make retrieval easier, while others remain loose. The type of material may influence the difficulty of keeping the balls in place - stainless steel or glass balls will require more muscle strength to keep in place, while silicone balls are easier to “grip”.
How Do You Use Ben Wa Balls?
Because the balls are held in place by your pelvic floor muscles, we recommend starting with smaller sized balls.
Before inserting them, lightly coat the balls with your favourite body-safe lube (we reccommend this). Too much lube may make it difficult to keep the balls inside you - yes, they can slip out. Lie horizontally on a comfortable surface, and grib the balls between your thumb and forefinger. Press against the vaginal opening until the balls “pop” into place. You may want to experiment with the depth of insertion.
Although certain novels (*ahem* 50 Shades) may imply that you can immediately wear the balls in public, we suggest wearing them around the house before venturing outside. Because they are held in place by your muscles, if you aren’t used to constantly using those muscles, the balls may slide down. Wear them for as long as you like! Wear them while you partner stimulates your clit, or just sit in a rocking chair for a bit (yeah…. it’s much better than it sounds.)
Just like tampons, the balls cannot get lost in your vaginal canal. To remove tethered balls, simply tug gently on the removal string. If you use un-tethered balls, insert your thumb and forefinger into your vagina and grasp each ball. If that proves difficult, try lying or squatting and bearing down on your diaphragm.
Make sure you clean them well before and after each use - the cleaning method depends on the material (check out our article on how to clean your sex toys for more info).
The “Luna” beads set from Lelo is perfect for beginners - it comes with 2 sizes, allowing for gradual advancement in strength.
“Luna Beads” from Lelo
Using Anal Toys
Anal sex can be a treasure trove of pleasure. Maybe you’ve already explored anal sex (and if you haven’t, check out our article!). Maybe not. Maybe you’re just curious about ways to go about anal play - beads, plugs, vibrators, dildos… there is certainly a lot of choice. Butt plugs are a popular first toy for anal play beginners.
So, what exactly is a butt plug?
A butt plug is a toy that is specifically designed to be inserted into the anus: it has a smaller tip that increases in size to the base, with a flayed end. That flayed end is crucial - that’s what stops the toy from going too far into your butt - yes, that is possible! They can be made with a variety of material: silicone, glass, rubber, vinyl, etc.
How do you choose a butt plug?
For beginners, it is recommended that you start with a small size. Many stores sell “kits” that come with plugs of various sizes that you can work up to as you get more comfortable.
As mentioned above, plugs come in various materials, but we recommend that you purchase a toy in a soft, smooth material like high grade silicone that is both soft and easy to clean. Make sure there are no rips, tears, or sharp edges that could tear the delicate lining of the anus.
We recommend the Little Flirt Butt Plug by Tantus - billed as the least intimidating butt plug for beginners!
For more advanced anal play, consider adding some vibration to your plug.
Tips for Using a Butt Plug
- Lube: Just like with any other kind of anal play, lube is absolutely crucial. The anus does not self-lubricate, so apply your lube of choice liberally. Apply more before removal, since things can get dry quickly. (We recommend this lube.)
- Lots of foreplay: As we discussed in our article on anal sex, the anus is designed to stay tightly closed. Get good and horny before attempting to insert a butt plug.
- Leave it in for only as long as you’re comfortable: Some people like to have a butt plug inside them for the entire duration of sex (or even throughout the day), while others prefer it only for a minute or two. Do whatever is comfortable for you.
Have fun. If you’re not having fun, or it hurts, or you decide you are uncomfortable halfway through, stop. This should be a pleasurable and exciting experience for both parties. If it isn’t, don’t do it.
Photo By: Brian Rouble of Shuttered Moments
Aka ‘Can I Really Lose Inches Using A Corset?’
After tons of research (click here to check out part 1 of this series) I made my decision on which corset to buy. I chose a size 22 (5.5 inches smaller than my natural waist) black satin underbust corset with 24 flat and spiral steel bones. Although there were cheaper options, all my research had lead me to realize that if I was serious about waist training then it would be difficult to find a corset that was going to be effective for under $100 USD. So, I invested.
Here is what happened over the next two weeks (including before & after photos and a special Free Your V discount code from Alter Ego Clothing for those of you who are in the market for your own corset!):
When I first tried on the corset I immediately saw a difference in my figure. I had a 27.5 inch waist at the time, and I saw my figure reduced instantly before my eyes. Although the difference appeared to be drastic while looking in the mirror, it was actually only a 1.5 inch difference when I measured my waist in the corset.
I had to fight the urge to do up the corset as tight as I possibly could, but during my research on corset training I had learned that it was important not to tighten my corset past 2 inches of reduction during the first 2 weeks of corset training. The first 3 weeks of wearing your corset is referred to as seasoning and it protects your new corset from being damaged. I found this fantastic graphic detailing the corset seasoning process in Waist Training 101 group on Facebook.
The easiest way to explain the seasoning process is to equate your new corset to a new pair of stilettos. When you first put them on, they look fabulous and you feel sexy! However, if you were to wear them for the next 12 hours straight, on your feet, with no breaks, chances are you would end up very uncomfortable, with big blisters on your heels, and no interest in putting your stilettos on again the next day. The same idea applies to a new corset.
I thought that the first would not be difficult, but I will admit, that I was happy to take the corset off that evening. Although it was not uncomfortable to wear in general, I spent that evening at a hockey game, alternating between sitting and standing up to cheer, while stuffing myself with popcorn. The restriction of the corset made the overeating process less appealing, which was likely a good thing. Who needs an extra large bag of popcorn to themselves anyways?
I wore my corset for 2-3 hours each day, while working. I managed to hide it under my clothing, without anyone noticing (as far as I know). What they did notice is how ‘fit’ I was. I got a ton of compliments on my figure (from men and women) and felt particularly confident.
When I took my corset off each day there were slight indentations in my skin, but nothing more than a tight part of pants would cause on my thighs.
Although I had been a healthy eater before starting to wear my corset, but wearing something tight while eating made me more aware of how much I was eating. There was no question that I was eating less during the meals when I was corseted, than the ones when I wasn’t. I also tended to choose items that were lighter; I was more likely to go with additional veggies on my plate then rice.
I will be honest, my lower back started to hurt near the end of the max seasoning time each day. I was concerned at first, as the pain would go away almost as soon as I took off the corset. The pain was only happening when I was sitting down. By the end of the first week I realized that was happening… I had better posture while wearing the corset and that was making my back muscles fight against the new position. As the days went on this discomfort began to fade.
The more I wore my corset the more comfortable I found it to be. The constant compliments from friends, colleagues, and strangers helped me to forge onward on the days where I wanted to take it off early. Although the lower back pain was almost gone by this point, I did began to notice other small annoyances, the worst of which was the increased gas and burping that I would get after meals when I wore my corset.
However, I also began to notice some really exciting changes. I lost an inch off my waist in the first 2 weeks. Although I did exercise (but NOT while wearing the corset- that’s just dangerous!), I did not exercise any more often than I did before wearing my corset. I did eat less during the meals when I was wearing a corset, but those meals were only once or twice a day, so I don’t think that the reduced diet alone can be to blame for the inch loss. Overall, I think that the combination of diet, exercise, and corset wearing had equal benefits.
Corset training clearly works, but it is certainly not easy. It takes self control to not over tighten or wear your corset for too long during the seasoning process. You need to be disciplined in order to wear the corset on a daily basis. Corset users also have to be willing to deal with a degree of discomfort (but this does reduce over time). And, like all forms of weight reduction, you need to be patient for the effects to occur. .
I am quite happy with the results that I achieved in 2 weeks and am looking forward to what will happen to my waist as I continue to train!
Hey lady! Where is that special Free Your V discount code from Alter Ego Clothing that you promised us?!?
Here it is: all you have to do it put in the code freeyourv when you go through the check out process on Alter Ego’s website. Be sure to check out their signature product, the Waist Trainer Steel Boned Corset.
Alter Ego Clothing Discount Code Corset Waist Training
I will be documenting my waist training journey for Free Your V. Click here to check out the other articles on corset waist training!
This guest poster is not a doctor, nor is she advocating that anyone try corseting before weighing the decision with a medical professional. While some medical professionals say that wearing a corset has no risks, others say that the risks are the same as wearing other constrictive devices, such as Spanx or skinny jeans; skin irritation and restriction to the area. Free Your V decided to post this series after reading Dr. Ann Beaumont‘s take on modern corset use:
“The corset controversy spans centuries, as it had defenders in both camps. Opponents cited that dislodged organs caused various health issues, and proponents who claimed that even the most extreme forms of lacing were without consequence for health. As evidence was never gathered in a scientific manner, it is difficult, but not impossible, to find a relationship between the two.”
Although there are more and more reputable adult stores, not everyone enjoys the idea of aimlessly browsing for sex toys in the company of strangers. Luckily, there’s the Internet. We’ve taken the liberty of compiling the coolest sex toys that you might actually use - so you don’t even have to leave your house! You’re welcome.
1. The We-Vibe 4
Solo or Couple: Both
Why It’s Awesome: There it an app. The shape of the We-Vibe 4 may not fit every couple’s anatomy perfectly enough to be used as it was intended (inside you during intercourse), but the remote capabilities more than make up for that. The vibe can be controlled via a smartphone app from anywhere in the world - suddenly being apart won’t be so hard anymore.
The possibilities are endless…
Buy It Here!
2. Nuo Vibrating Butt Plug by Je Joue
Solo or Couple: Both
Why It’s Awesome: The app. Yup, this one has an app too! Except this toy is specifically designed for anal play. It isn’t so large as to be intimidating for newbies, but offers much satisfaction for those more experienced in anal sex. Smooth, silky, and vibrating - it is the perfect anal toy.
Buy It Here!
3. Leaf Vitality 2
Solo or Couple: Solo
Why It’s Awesome: There are 2 arms - one for the vagina, one for the clit. Although that in itself is wonderful, the greatest thing about this toy is that both arms are controlled separately! Need strong clit vibrations but weaker ones inside? No problem!
Buy It Here!
4. Shunga Edible Body Paint in “Strawberry Wine”
Solo or Couple: Couple
Why It’s Awesome: The flavour is unreal. It doesn’t have the icky, slightly-plasticky candy store fake taste that most flavoured lubes have. The delicious fruity flabour just makes you want to keep on licking… the effects of which your partner will most definitely appreciate. If you’re apprehensive about oral, slather this stuff on and slurp away.
Buy It Here!
5. The UMA by Ju Joue
Solo or Couple: Solo
Why It’s Awesome: Purrrrfectly deep and powerful vibrations, and the best shape for optimal g-spot stimulation without hurting your wrist. It doesn’t require pushing down on the handle to hit that sweet spot, so your wrists will thank you. That shape is so perfect, it even pulls at your g-spot deliciously on the back-stroke, too.
Buy It Here!
6. Melting Candle Massage Oil by Booty Parlour
Solo or Couple: Couple
Why It’s Awesome: It can be lit as a regular candle during a romantic dinner, and by the time you’re in the mood it has melted into a warm, deliciously smooth massage oil. It smells as amazing as it feels, and skin is left silky rather than sticky. Perfect for the slow burn.
Buy It Here!
For those who don’t know, the practice of vaginal douching involves squirting a substance into the vaginal canal, usually with the use of an applicator. The substance can be anything from water, to an acetic (think: vinegar-like) substance, to a scented “medicinal” product. The idea is that the substance flushes into your vagina, and comes back out again. (It’s definitely not the same thing as washing your labia!)
Why do some women douche?
Most women report that they douche for “hygiene” reasons: to cleanse the vagina after their period, after sex, to get rid of symptoms like odour, itching, or discharge, or to prevent sexually transmitted disease.
It’s actually quite common.
The thing is, there is very little conclusive evidence to support these reasons - in fact, douching can cause some pretty serious side effects.
What douching does to your vagina
Of course the exact effects of douching depend on the type of substance used. However, generally speaking, douching can result in the following effects:
- Reduction in the density of normal vaginal bacteria
Douching with any antiseptic substance kills off the normal vaginal bacteria. Even douching with water reduces the native bacteria - it physically sweeps the bacteria away, and damages the pH balance required by the good bacteria to live (the pH of water is close to 7, the pH of your vagina should be less than 4.5!)
The bacteria that is normally present in your vagina helps maintain the pH of your reproductive tract nice and low: this low pH prevents certain other bacteria from colonizing because they can’t live in such a low pH environment.
The “native” bacteria also physically prevents pathogenic (disease causing) bacteria from entering, and stimulates mucous production - another important line of defense against pathogenic bacteria.
Without the native bacteria, there is plenty of room for other bacteria to colonize and grow: bacteria such as Neisseria gonorrhoeae or Chlamydia trachomatis - yeah, the stuff that causes gonorrhoeae and chlamydia - or bacterial vaginosis.
One study found that
…women who reported douching 12 months prior to their clinic visit were twice as likely to have cervical chlamydial infection and that, as the frequency of douching increased, the likelihood of chlamydial infection also increased.
Using douching products with “antiseptic” qualities causes even larger changes in the normal vaginal bacteria.
So clearly, the removal of the good bacteria leaves plenty of room for infection and disease causing bacteria to get in on the action.
- Forcing bacteria from the lower genital tract above the cervix into the uterus/fallopian tubes
Bacteria that is normally found in the lower bit of your vaginal canal can be physically forced up by the stream of liquid into places it isn’t supposed to be. This can lead to inflammatory scaring… and that inflammatory scaring can lead to ectopic pregnancy, early miscarriage, and even infertility.
Another effect of bacteria getting up where it isn’t supposed to be is pelvic inflammatory disease.
That shit is serious.
It was estimated that 20-30% of women with pelvic inflammatory disease would be hospitalized. It is also a very common cause of reduced fertility and even sterility.
One study reported that vaginal douching increases the overall risk of pelvic inflammatory disease by 73% and the risk of ectopic pregnancy by 76%. Those percentages are HUGE!
- Irritation of the mucous lining
Physically irritating the protective mucous lining can reduce how effective it is at keeping unwanted bacteria out.
Douching has been scientifically linked to:
- Pelvic inflammatory disease
- Chlamydia, gonorrhea, bacterial vaginitis, cervical cancer
- Reduced fertility
- Ectopic pregnancy
Douching has NOT been scientifically linked to:
- Promoting a healthy vagina
We cannot in good conscience recommend that women douche. If you are worried about a funky smell, or about your vaginal canal being clean of blood or semen or whatever … go to your doctor. The vagina is SELF CLEANING! Don’t douche.
The last thing you’re probably thinking of during “the act” is whether or not your lube or sex toys are eco-friendly and body-safe, however that is a question you should definitely ask yourself and here’s why:
Here’s the thing about lube…
Parabens, petrochemicals, DEA, Glycerin, methylisothiazolinone and fragrance (yes, fragrance) are commonly found in lube. If feeding your “V”s mucous membrane a chemical soup was a good idea, you’d be reading about that instead of this article. Many of these ingredients are linked to cancer, hormone balance disruption and skin irritations among other things. One particular study has even found parabens in biopsies of breast cancer tumors.
Now we’re not telling you to throw away everything you own, but maybe take a look and see for yourself. You’ll find that many sensual products on the market today contain ingredients that are not benign.
Two of the most liberally used ingredients in lubes today are glycerine and petroleum jelly. Petroleum jelly is also known as mineral oil, liquidum paraffinum and petrolatum. Not very eco-sexy - not only because it’s derived from petrol but also because it stops the vagina’s ability to clean itself. You see, we are cleverly designed and feature a self-cleaning mode you may have not known anything about.
A petroleum-based product will take anywhere from three to five days to be properly flushed out on its own. Meanwhile, all kinds of things could be growing in there! As for glycerine, it is more commonly known that it may lead to yeast infections in women, especially if you are prone to them. So if you’re wondering what’s up? Well, maybe this is it! This may also cause damage to mucous membranes in the long run.
Finding eco-friendly sex toys and lubes isn’t that hard when you know what to look for. I’d recommend a product like Sliquid - H2O Lube. This lube is a paraben-free, glycerin-free, gentle water-based lubricant. Unlike most other personal lubricants out there, it has no sugar derivatives and is thickened with plant cellulose. It is safe for all sexual activity, is condom, toy friendly and will never cause yeast infections and UTIs. Sliquid H20 is 100% vegan, is unflavoured, unscented, non-staining and easy to cleanup.
Not everyone loves Valentine’s Day. In fact, a lot of people hate it. That’s fine. If you’re one of those people, pretend this post is called “5 Realistic Gifts to Buy Yourself/Your Partner On Any Day You Like”.
Honestly, we just wanted an excuse to browse the internet for sexy products. This post justifies all the afore-mentioned browsing.
We decided on these gifts using 3 very scientific criteria:
- Would we want it? (For ourselves, our partners, or both!)
- Is it easy to send? (No giant sex swings…Those don’t fit in the mail really well.)
- Do I have to re-mortgage my house to purchase it? (The answer should be no.)
So, without further ado, we present 5 realistic Valentine’s Day gifts you might actually buy.
- Naked Fragrance Free Massage Oil
What Is it?: Vegan friendly, paraben free, unscented massage oil made with certified organic ingredients.
Why We Love It: If you have sensitive skin, massage oil can cause a reaction. Not this stuff!
Even Better!: Currently 35% off (only $14.99) at Pink Cherry!
- Pride and Promiscuity: The Lost Sex Scenes of Jane Austen by Arielle Eckstut
What Is It?: A short collection of deliciously funny erotic stories about Jane and Darcy, Emma, and Mr Collins and Charlotte.
Why We Love It: It’s fun and different and wickedly smart, and yes – sexy.
Even Better: Only $12.99 USD at Coco de Mer !
- Silky Sash Restraints
What Is It?: Silky ties perfect for tieing up or being tied.
Why We Love It: These soft ties make bondage play accessible to anyone! There is nothing harsh about them, so the ties are easy to use if you’ve never done this kind of thing before.
Even Better!: The ties are current 40% off at Pink Cherry!
- Love and Pride Jewelry
What Is It?: JEWELRY! … but that’s a cop out, so we picked 2 actual pieces-a gorgeous Pink Titanium Ring with Pink Sapphire, and a linked diamond pendant.
Why We Love It: Because it isn’t just jewelry. Love and Pride stands for equality, diversity, and tolerance – and they stand behind that message: a portion of all proceeds from Love and Pride is donated to non-profit organizations that support full equality and civil rights for our community (like gay marriage!). It really is statement jewelry, in the best possible meaning of the word.
Even Better!: Free Your V Readers get 20% off the Valentines Collection
- “After Fun” Cooling Lotion from Coco de Mer
What Is it?: A lotion that contains menthol and aloe and other wonderful ingredients to soothe a red bottom.
Why We Love It: Because sometimes your ass needs a little love after a little too much… er… love.
Even Better!: Currently 70% off!