Not everyone loves Valentine’s Day. In fact, a lot of people hate it. That’s fine. If you’re one of those people, pretend this post is called “5 Realistic Gifts to Buy Yourself/Your Partner On Any Day You Like”.

Honestly, we just wanted an excuse to browse the internet for sexy products. This post justifies all the afore-mentioned browsing.

We decided on these gifts using 3 very scientific criteria:

  • Would we want it? (For ourselves, our partners, or both!)
  • Is it easy to send? (No giant sex swings…Those don’t fit in the mail really well.)
  • Do I have to re-mortgage my house to purchase it? (The answer should be no.)

So, without further ado, we present 5 realistic Valentine’s Day gifts you might actually buy.

Naked Fragrance free massage oil from Pink Cherry

  1. Naked Fragrance Free Massage Oil

What Is it?: Vegan friendly, paraben free, unscented massage oil made with certified organic ingredients.

Why We Love It: If you have sensitive skin, massage oil can cause a reaction. Not this stuff!

Even Better!: Currently 35% off  (only $14.99) at Pink Cherry!

 

 

 

Pride and Promiscuity book valentines day gift

  1. Pride and Promiscuity: The Lost Sex Scenes of Jane Austen by Arielle Eckstut

What Is It?: A short collection of deliciously funny erotic stories about Jane and Darcy, Emma, and Mr Collins and Charlotte.

Why We Love It: It’s fun and different and wickedly smart, and yes – sexy.

Even Better: Only $12.99 USD at Coco de Mer !

 

 

Silky sash restraints valentines day gift

  1. Silky Sash Restraints

What Is It?: Silky ties perfect for tieing up or being tied.

Why We Love It: These soft ties make bondage play accessible to anyone! There is nothing harsh about them, so the ties are easy to use if you’ve never done this kind of thing before.

Even Better!: The ties are current 40% off at Pink Cherry!

 

 

love and pride necklace valentines day gift love and pride ring valentines day gift

  1. Love and Pride Jewelry

What Is It?: JEWELRY! … but that’s a cop out, so we picked 2 actual pieces-a gorgeous Pink Titanium Ring with Pink Sapphire, and a linked diamond pendant.

Why We Love It: Because it isn’t just jewelry. Love and Pride stands for equality, diversity, and tolerance – and they stand behind that message: a portion of all proceeds from Love and Pride is donated to non-profit organizations that support full equality and civil rights for our community (like gay marriage!). It really is statement jewelry, in the best possible meaning of the word.

Even Better!: Free Your V Readers get 20% off the Valentines Collection

 

after fun body lotion valentines gift

  1. “After Fun” Cooling Lotion from Coco de Mer

What Is it?: A lotion that contains menthol and aloe and other wonderful ingredients to soothe a red bottom.

Why We Love It: Because sometimes your ass needs a little love after a little too much… er… love.

Even Better!: Currently 70% off!

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50 Weeks of V Sex Challenge

Whether your sex life is scorching or burning out, whether you're single or taken, everyone can use a little motivation to keep the fire alive in the sack.

 

Sign up for '50 Weeks of V' and get an exclusive (and FREE!) sexy challenge every week.

You will receive a confirmation e-mail shortly. Be sure to click that confirmation link or you wont receive the challenge (oh no!).